You know you’re a welder When…

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… when you take a hot pot off the stove without using the handle and don’t realize it until your wife tells you.

… when you say: “Officer, I know I was weaving back and forth, but I was just trying to look at the welds on the truck beside me.”

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… when, on payday, instead of going to the bank, you go to your local welding supply.

… when, at a Sushi bar, you tell your significant other, “It is so easy to use chopsticks, it is just like feeding Tig wire.”

… when you have a sunburn year round on your face neck and arms.

… when you like how argon smells and when you smell like it, you feel there’s no better lotion.

… when you see a metal bed frame and you can think of a hundred uses that don’t involve a mattress.

… when someone mentions more amps, your first thought is “thicker metal”.

… when you look at possibly moving to a new house, your first concern is can you get easy access to 3-phase power.

… when you first heard of red states and blue states, you though is was determined by the brand of welder MOST preferred.

… when a tigger is NOT a bouncy Disney character! … when 3rd degree burns are not serious enough to stop what you are doing.

… when rusty I-beams would make a good start for your next project.

… when the most expensive piece of furniture you have is a table made of 1/2 inch of solid steel.

… when your hat folds up and fits in your back pocket. … when the uniform service company complains that they have to replace more of your work shirts than any their other customers.

… when you are lying in bed before falling asleep, and the continuing vision in your brain is molten aluminum slowly wetting out as the bead moves forward.

… when your girlfriend gives you **** for calling a weld “sexy.”

… when you have made your own fork so you can eat lunch.

… when you find yourself unable to concentrate without a sharp head nod.

… when you reheat your coffee with a cutting torch. … when you’re watching TV and the person on the screen starts an arc, and you “flip your helmet down” except of course, you’re not wearing one.

… when you can’t find your lighter so you light your smoke with the oxy torch because you can always find your flint.

… when you can tell by just the smell whether it is your pants or your shirt that has caught on fire.

… when you use a nail file to cut the prison bars and you take the bars with you when you escape, after all they are steel.

… when you’re sent to Kuwait in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom, and you’re the only one in your unit to have a hot shave because you have an oxy/acetylene torch.

… when you attempt the bob-n-burn and realize your new auto dark is already down.

… when you notice that your pants are on fire but keep welding for another 3 in. to keep from having to stop and start again.

… when you get funny looks in public because you have a sunburn on one side of your face in the middle of the winter.

… when your truck has an air tank bumper!

… when you feel a hot berry digging in hard, but wont stop welding “cause you’ve “got that sucker now”!!

… when you are outside and it lightnings and you put up your hand to shield the glare.

… when you go shopping with your girlfriend and she catches you checking out the welds on everything she buys.

… when you call over your high school shop teacher ask him who made a weld on a piece of steel and when he says he did you still proceed to tell him it looks like a chicken **** on the piece where the weld is.

… when you know the real reason for wearing a baseball cap backwards and its not because its cool.

… when a friend of yours starts talking to you about a dirty movie he seen and mentions the word penetration and you start thinking about steel.

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Adam Mason

Welder by trade for a decade and more. Now also a web designer and a blog owner. Doing product reviews and writing blogs about welding trade and perks and minuses of being a welder.

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